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Step 2, And I’m not alone.
Read more: Step 2, And I’m not alone.I am a recovering alcoholic… and, for my sanity, I need to do shadow work, and work the steps. So, if you want to see my journey and my vulnerability, come along with me on this journey. 2: Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. This is oddly…
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Letters to my Younger Selves,
Read more: Letters to my Younger Selves,I need to start this by saying I am getting back into shadow work again. And our next podcast is going to be about advice to our young selves. So here is the first part of my letter. Stay tuned for more… Dear Younger Me, There are so many things I wish I had known,…
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You love me, BUT…
Read more: You love me, BUT…I loved you BUT… I loved you, like the ocean loves the moon, tides pulling with your command, my body in your sway. My heart mirrored you, an incandescent pearl in the blue deep, as you hung, luminous, in the indigo night. I loved you fiercely, a conquistador planting my feet in the soil of…
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Fallen God…
Read more: Fallen God…You tumbled through space and time, your rack of antlers ripped away by the greedy black hole you were swept into, stars grasping for light as you gasped for breath, death at your fingertips. Immortal ichor to mortal blood. Even the sound of your screams dissolved into nothing and everything. You landed in a concrete…
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Embers and Craters
Read more: Embers and CratersI brushed my hands across your brow, saw blood on my fingers. I wondered if I was the one with the knife, or if you had razors hidden in apple petal curls. Did you ever write letters just to watch them burn and sizzle in the flames? I wonder at the words eaten by fire…
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An Old High-school Blog…
Read more: An Old High-school Blog…The other day, my lovely friend Julie mentioned that she was reading her livejournal, and it sparked my curiosity. I wanted to read mine again. I do it every few years, laughing at how dramatic I was, cringing at some of the things I wrote, groaning over the grammatical errors and the little girl I…
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Demons and Caves Part 1
Read more: Demons and Caves Part 1Malacoz ran through the brush, tireless, his feet pounding on the cold ground and the wind blowing his hair back from his face in a way that made him want to howl in triumph. His quarry was fast, faster than he’d thought she’d be, and he relished the chase, how it emptied his mind except…
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12 years sober today…
Read more: 12 years sober today…November is fucking depressing. It’s something about the bare trees, the grey skies, losing the hour of light in the evenings – and my own memories. I’ve been sober for 12 years and I’m eternally grateful for that. I’m proud of how far I’ve come and I celebrate this day every year, because I still…
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Dear It’s Best If We Don’t Talk-
Read more: Dear It’s Best If We Don’t Talk-Dear It’s Best If We Don’t Talk, We won’t speak face to face in this life again, but I hope you know I don’t wish you ill. Quite the opposite, in fact. I wish you no harm, nor would I hex or curse you. I wish you growth and happiness. After all, it was you…
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Invisible
Read more: InvisibleI feel like I slip through the world in shadows, gathering a cloak of stars and darkness around me. I like the way the night curls around my long fingers, and the swelling secrets I hear on the murmuring wind. But – I didn’t ask to be invisible. I’m cold. Is this a version of…
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Reckless Freedom
Read more: Reckless FreedomI wonder if I’ll ever stop looking over my shoulder, searching for the Huntsman on my trail. He wants to put my heart in a velvet lined box. I don’t know if these tired eyes and this worn smile can sway him; I am not the beauty they once called me, though I never believed…
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I don’t feel ok.
Read more: I don’t feel ok.I don’t know if I can make this poetic, when I just need to let it out. I don’t feel ok. I haven’t felt ok for weeks. Anxiety has been nipping at my heels, little bites of pain, making my whole body shake and tremble with irrational fear. Some days I feel like I’m floating…
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Oh, Halloween…
Read more: Oh, Halloween…Oh think of me, won’t you, when the colorful trees shiver and the children are looking for tricks or treats. Think of me when you’re hunting for the perfect costume, or admiring the Harvest Moon at her peak. Think of me when sky-clad under an autumn sky. Think of me when you dance there, crunching…
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Hades and Light
Read more: Hades and LightYou had a wreath of roses on your curly hair mane, A lion in the garden of night, Devouring springtime and beauty, To sustain your numinous life. The golden boy, the loved, the desired, The Prince of flowers and game, And I am the Goddess of Death, Ghosts and sadness and shame. The souls I…
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Lamial and Malacoz, Lakes and Caves.
Read more: Lamial and Malacoz, Lakes and Caves.The palace was quiet, and the heels of his boots clipped smartly on the polished floors. Lower Demons scurried out of his way, wide eyed and fearful, and Malacoz reveled in it. He smiled at one of them, a small female with white hair and yellow eyes, and she swallowed hard before backing away into…
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I ruined a cake and went to that dark place again.
Read more: I ruined a cake and went to that dark place again.Yesterday, I went back to that place. I was making Texas sheet cake. I looked up the recipe in my email, and it mentioned a name that made my crystal heart fall – hit – shatter. I could feel that pit of dark stars and the echoes of light grow and grow and grow until…
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I lost myself as a girl. And I found myself as a woman.
Read more: I lost myself as a girl. And I found myself as a woman.Dedicated to my father, John. Happy birthday daddy-o. You always reminded me of who I really was. This is a story about a girl who lost herself, and the woman who found her. When I was a little girl, I had dreams about another land, and another time. There is one that sticks with me,…
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Witchy woman…
Read more: Witchy woman…This fruitful, heavenly body is tugging at the womb inside of me, swollen light I guzzle eagerly. I feel the buzz of her beauty in my body, seeping from my pores as luminescence. Harvest Moons and golden-red leaves bring out the witch that has huddled inside my soul with quiet patience until October came to…
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Forever or a fling?
Read more: Forever or a fling?Perhaps it’s time to face the truth, however unpalatable: maybe I was always meant to be a fling, and never meant for forever. I might be easy to fall in love with, but I know damn well I’m harder to stay in love with. Ask the men who gave me diamonds and pearls. Ask those…
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Why write about love?
Read more: Why write about love?Here’s one thing I hear quite often: “I notice your writing is mostly about love.” The question there, unasked, is why? There are, of course, all the usual reasons that love is the main subject of many poems, songs, books, plays, paintings, etc.: love is powerful, love is terrible, love is beautiful, love is a…
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